02.26 | Day 3: Episode three, 3PM - 4PM

Production Code: 3AFF03
Written by Howard Gordon
Directed by Ian Toynton

The following takes place between 3:00PM and 4:00PM. Events occur in real time, as you might have figured out by now.

Tony walks down some stairs to explain the plot to Adam, the CTU homosexual. "They only thing they need to know is that it kills within 24 hours of exposure, and we believe Kyle Singer has it". Not content with explaining the past plot, he then goes on to explain what'll happen in the next hour. "Jack's gonna meet Nicole Duncan, head of Health Services, Los Angeles. They're gonna take a Haz Mat team over to Singer's apartment." Well, gee, thanks, Tony. I'll just switch off for the next hour, then.

Cut to Jack, who's stuck in traffic by the side of a freeway. He's wearing sunglasses and panting like a Saint Bernard in Bermuda. Tries shooting up, but some scary, official looking vans pull up. It's the Haz Mat team. I guess they're heading over to Singer's apartment. This Dr Nicole Duncan seems to know about Teri, Jack's dead wife – SHE MUST BE A MOLE.

Jack does he whole "woo, I'm drowsy, I’m not listening to you, off in the world of the pixies, heroin withdrawal" thing. Being a doctor, Nicole notices this. Clever. Then she sees Jack's vial of nasty disgusting DRUGS and pretends not to notice it.

Back at CTU, Michelle is listening to the recording of Hector Salazar's demands. It sounds like one of those voice-changer things that kids in the 1980s used to have. Why doesn't she just use Alex Hewitt's wonderful sound software from the last few episodes of series two? Surely that would decode it far quicker. The reason why is that they'd find it was Gael who read out the script. Gael, who appears to be under the cosh. Chloe starts bugging him. Funny that, because it's probably Gael who's got her bugged. Arf.

At the Salazar Ranch, Claudia winds up Hector by reminding him that Ramon will return from prison and take back the family 'business'. Hector takes a phone call from Ramon, who's watching Jack. Obviously Gael can tap into the CCTV network of all of Los Angeles. Lucky he's working at CTU, then. If Hector had picked a right hand man who'd worked at Starbucks, all he could offer would be an extra dollop of froth on his coffee.

3:07PM, and Kyle Singer's dad arrives back home from a job interview. They argue about money. Yeah – so what? This is '24', not bloody Eastenders. Singer's dad is no way on a par with evil/good/evil/good dad beardy Bob Warner from last year.

Tony briefs the CTU gang to fill time. They flash up a handy close-up of Kyle Singer's driving license, though. Apparently he's 19 years old. Then again, Dawson in Dawson's Creek was supposed to be a school kid and he still looked about 30. Tony and Michelle have managed to guess their way to figuring out the Salazar's entire plan – somehow they're deduce that Singer thinks he's smuggling drugs. I have no idea what gave them that impression. Maybe they're going one better than Gael and have the Salazar ranch bugged?

At CTU, I am amused by Tony saying "Salazar's people" as part of his plot explanation and the shot of Gael's shocked expression and perking his face up as the words are said.

It's 3:09PM back at the Singer apartment. Kyle's dad opens Kyle's hold-all and finds the coke. There's an argument, the dad grabs the bag and you have expect him to hold up the powder and say "Well, well, well. What have we here?" because we've seen this exact same scene done in exactly the same way in Grange Hill, Neighbours and every other bloody teenage soap under the sun. Kyle Singer is lame – hopefully Jack will take him out soon. Except we won't need to, because JUST AS I LOST MY ATTENTION, the virus-infected bag of coke SPLITS OPEN and is handily circulated around the room by a fan the Singer family JUST HAPPEN TO LEAVE BLOWING ON THE FLOOR. Time to cut to an ad break, and – for once in '24' land – not before time.

3:16PM – Ramon Salazar sweats in prison; Kim Bauer tries to figure out why Kyle Singer’s driving license is on her computer screen; the Singer parents try not to breathe in deadly viruses; Jack and Dr Duncan continue driving to the Singer house.

Chase is back at CTU, though, for an exciting day of pen-pushing and chatting up Kim.

3:17PM, and we're back at Salazar in the federal holding facilty for what seems like the first time in an age, though it can't be more than about an hour in '24' time. Apparently Ramon is ready to talk to Annicon.

Spooky black-suited security guards are patrolling the University of Southern California, so that can only mean that President Dave is still preparing for his debate. Dave hands the Keeler playbook back to Wayne, saying "I only hope you can get a refund from whoever sold you that load of crap". Wooah. Moderate swearing. Again. That's about the third time in two episodes.

Cut to the best scene of the episode, which probably goes to show just how boring it really was. Joaquim de Almeida turns up the scary quota by having his guard kill off Annicon. Apparently one of the Salazar goons had got to the guard's son so he had to do whatever Ramon said. But how did they manage to get the timing right, eh? And how did the guard check that his son really was in trouble?

Cut to a scene of Kyle's parents arguing about bloody Kyle. I mean, yawn. Ramon filled me with menace, and 30 seconds later these two are filling me with hatred and bile towards the human race. Specifically, white trash Californians. Whatever. Until Jack breaks in through the door. Good thing the parents weren't filling time until Jack could feasibly arrive. Watching Kyle's lameass dad STAND AND WATCH whilst someone buzzsaws through his front door was just dumb. Like anyone would just stand there and watch. Unless that person was on heroin, maybe. THEREFORE KYLE'S DAD IS THE SECRET MOLE - no - DRUG USER. Oh no, we've done that bit. It’s Gael.

Anyway, Jack and Dr Nicole lock the place down and hunt for Kyle. Unfortunately, Kyle's mum flushes the coke down the toilet. Uh-oh. "THE VIRUS IS OUT", shouts Jack. "I REPEAT: THE VIRUS IS OUT". The virus is down the bog, and Jack radios to Tony to ask to 'set up a perimeter'. What, down in the sewers? Explain that one to me, CTU boys.

After an ad break, Anne pays a visit to Prez Palmer at 3:28PM. Apparently it's something about Anne's ex-husband Ted, who fabricated medical research and was convicted, and how Anne knew about the lies but Ted covered this up when he testified. Or something. I think that's the general picture. And you though the virus plot was complicated. At least the virus plot is exciting. And I thought Palmer wasn't going to read the 'playbook'? Turns out that just over fifteen minutes later, he has done. Did I miss something? 3:30PM, and Wayne phones Dave to ask him to meet in the auditorium.

Dr Sunni Macer talks to Tony. They mention that it was lucky that the virus was easily contained, even though it was airborne. What about the bag of it that got flushed down the toilets? Tony then gets to deal with Adam, Michelle and Kim all asking stupid questions. Yeah, when I've got dumb things I'm not sure about, I always go straight to my boss. If I was Tony, I wouldn't even dignify them with a response. Though he's a bit keen on explaining and repeating the plot to the audience these days, so maybe he's gone soft.

3:32PM, and Jack tells the Singer parents that Kyle carried in the Cordela virus from Mexico. He's talking on the radio with Tony when he runs off to vomit. A rather violent attack of heroin withdrawal or something more like virus symptoms? It'll be odd if he had contracted something, because apparently the powder WASN'T EVEN INFECTED WITH ANYTHING. Well, gee – ever get the feeling you've been cheated? But – apparently – the virus might be inside Kyle Singer. At least, I think that's what Jack was on about, but whatever he was saying was so confused I hardly understood it. It's either the heroin, or it's whoever scripted this episode. I know which one I'm blaming.

3:35PM, and Kyle asks for help from his girlfriend Linda. He thinks he needs to pay off the drug dealers because he hasn't got the drugs. Linda agrees to STEAL TWENTY THOUSAND BUCKS FROM HER DAD - as you do - and bring it to THE MALL. THE MALL! Meanwhile, Gael has another one of the Salazar goons following Kyle. The goon has to grab Kyle and 'take him to containment'.

Man, I'm confused. Shit, and I'm writing this down Yer average '24' watching pleb probably hasn't got a clue what's going on.

3:41PM – Singer's parents looking worried; Gael looking spooky; Kyle hangin' out in the mall; some bloke following him.

Palmer and Wayne agree to pay off Anne's ex-husband. Exactly what the character WOULDN'T HAVE done at every point over the past two seasons.

Jack tells the Singer ma and pa that they're both safe, but that their boy isn't. Their son could die. They don't look or sound that upset. Frankly, I’m not either and the sooner the virus takes him over and turns him into a zombie, the better. I like the way how Jack tells Kyle's dad to tell Kyle the truth about him being infected with a deadly virus, whereas 30 minutes earlier, Tony's approach was to go to Singer without telling him what was really happening, because the kid wouldn't know what was going on. It's like Jack really is braindead today. Singer's dad: "What should I tell him?" Jack: "Uh, anything, I don't care, I need to get his phone traced – why not tell him hired killers are after him? And he's probably going to die, that ought to do it. Say, do you have a spoon and a clean needle?".

At this point, can I just point out that Kyle Singer is the DUMBEST HUMAN ALIVE? His father tells him that he's infected with a deadly virus and that there are some people back at the house that'll help him, and Kyle has absolutely no desire to learn more about what he's just been told. Just a panicked "what, do you think I should turn myself in?" Not even a "So tell me more about this virus, Dad", or "Hey, how'd you find out about this virus, Dad?". That was some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard, and, yes, I do eavesdrop on people's mobile phone conversations on public transport.

Cut to Chloe, who asks Chase "Did you do something to piss off Jack?". WOW. Does being on an hour earlier and on a less-watched channel qualify '24' for more rude words this year? Chase runs off to catch up with Tony, who's getting on a chopper to the mall to corner Kyle. We see a couple of seconds of Kyle being followed by the Salazar goon, and it's off to an ad break.

3:53PM – Jack and Nicole zooming along an empty street with a blaring police escort; Michelle looking at some thing off screen.

Chase phones Jack, who – like a jilted girlfriend – won't pick up. Chase gives Kim obvious hints that Jack has the dark secret of smack. Obviously, she doesn't pick up on the hints.

3:55PM, and Tony, Jack and Nicole almost simultaneously arrive at the mall. But not before Nicole questions Jack about his habit. Jack says he's 'kicked it', though he obviously hasn't. We don't learn much more about his problem, though.

At either ends of the mall, Tony and his police goons, and Gael's Salazar goon make their approaches to Kyle Singer. "I want to make a clean grab", says Tony. Meaning it'll be anything but, then... Tony speaks to Kyle, and there's a face off. The goon shoots, Tony goes down, blood pouring everywhere, people scream and Kyle runs.

Jack enters. Does he tail Kyle Singer? The goon? No, he stops and takes a peek at Tony's new breath-hole. OK, he has a man on every exit but he should still make some attempt to capture Singer. Then again, Jack doesn't know the goon exists yet...

And thus concludes possibly the dullest episode of '24' yet. Last week's show could be said to have had a random ending – the unveiling of Gael as the CTU mole – but this week: Tony getting shot? Well, he's not dead – we saw him moving – so what does this leave in store for us? Michelle turning off his ventilator in the final hour of the series? At least there was some build up to discovering which side Gael was really on, but this hour had no development at all to its dumb ending. It has shock value, yes, but not satisfactorily. Other than that, what else happened? Palmer made me yawn. The Salazars were barely on screen. Jack drove about in a car – he did get to buzzsaw through a door, though, which was cool. The Singer parents put in some of the worst line delivery – you couldn’t call it 'acting' – I’ve ever seen. I think the thing that bugs me the most about Tony being shot is that I can't work out why it's happened. I'm just hoping the people who write the plot can.

Time checks:

3:41PM – Wayne tells Palmer that they could have the money to pay off Anne's ex-husband 'within the hour'.

Jack tells Tony that he'll arrive at the mall in 'about a minute'.

Top quotes:

None, but there were some 'low quotes', though. I'll probably update you all on those during the week, unless you want to use the comments box below to fill in your own 'worst line of the episode'.

Bodies swimming in the death pool are:

David Goss, the dead guy from the first episode
Shaye, Ramon Salazar's lawyer
Luis Annicon, Jack's help on the Salazar case

Plus Hector's truckload of stiffs, which were too many to count.

Trivia:

Kyle Singer's driving license points out that he was born on November 19, 1987. As Singer is 19 years old, this sets the events of season three sometime between November 2006 and November 2007.

Questions Arising:

Will Tony survive being shot? Will the Palmer plot get interesting or less wafflely? Will Kyle Singer escape from the mall? Or will the CTU people or the Salazar goon find him first? Why bother to introduce Gael as the CTU mole in episode two, only to take the focus off him in the next hour?

02.26 | The following took place between 2:00PM and 3:00PM

Previously on '24'

Wayne Palmer wants to steal Senator Keeler's 'playbook' – which contains something Dave Palmer didn't know about 'Doctor' Anne. Kim Bauer tells her dad that she's dating his partner – with hilarious consequences. Some kid – Kyle Singer – is somewhere in Los Angeles with a bag of virus-infected cocaine (he hasn't got very far in the last two hours). Oh, and Ramon Salazar's brother Hector HAS A MOLE INSIDE CTU. I can only hope you were paying attention during the last five minutes of last week's episode.

02.26 | '24' goes interactive: video game set in London?

"I don't know much about it, only that there's a group of people in London that are really cool. They came by the set, they hung out, took a lot of pictures, and talked to me about some things and they're gonna just come up with the story."

02.23 | Kiefer Sutherland wins Best Actor SAG Award

Kiefer Sutherland has won another award for '24'. It's a SAG - Screen Actors' Guild - Award for 'Best Actor in a Drama Series'.

When asked how long '24' can keep going, SAG best actor winner Kiefer Sutherland deferred to the show's writers. "We're hugely impressed with what they accomplished. It's a very difficult format to write in ... I'm very hopeful for a fourth season, and I hope we're responsible enough that when we feel - and I use 'we' generously because it's how (the writers) feel - that when they've done the best they can, that we stop."

UPDATE: There's a photo of Kiefer at the ceremony at zap2it.com

02.21 | Elisha Cuthbert cast in 'Wax' for horror remake

Elisha Cuthbert, who stars in 20th Century Fox's "The Girl Next Door" and Fox hit "24," is in final negotiations to take a trip to Dark Castle Entertainment's "House of Wax" for Warner Bros. Pictures/Village Roadshow Pictures. Joel Silver, Robert Zemeckis and Susan Levin are producing, while commercial helmer Jaume Collet-Serra is making his feature directorial debut.

02.19 | Day 3: Episode two, 2PM - 3PM

Production Code: 3AFF02
Written by Joel Surnow and Michael Loceff
Directed by Ian Toynton

The following takes place between 2:00PM and 3:00PM. Events occur in real time, like they have been doing for three seasons now. Get used to it

We start with Jack in his office. He's hiding the remains of his heroin stash and syringes in his waste paper bin. Well, I can't see that sneaking up on him at some time in the future and biting him on the arse. I mean, what a dumb move. Can't blame Jack, though; he's a junkie, and he's in a better state than most people.

Tony and the CTU gang brief Wayne Palmer – the president's chief of staff and brother, no less – in a cheap and easy way of reiterating the main plot points to the audience. Cheers. Oh, and the president won't neogiate – he won't free Salazar, no matter what the threat.

2:05PM, and Kim wants to talk to her daddy. "Oh, I need to tell you I'm fucking your partner". Yeah, unfortunately Jack's too busy as he needs to ride the dragon to H-Land. Also, Kim rang through to her Dad's office at the end of last week’s episode – in real time, just over five minutes ago. Is she needy, or what?

Jack tells Chase he plans to quit heroin. Today.

Chloe badgers Chase about finding the guy carrying the virus. She asks if he reckons the president will turn over Ramon Salazar to the terrorists. HEH. ANOTHER REASON WHY CHLOE IS THE CTU MOLE.

2:07PM – it's taken Kim two minutes to bring the files on Goss – the dead guy found infected with the virus – up to Chase and Jack's part of the office. Damn, Jack can drive halfway across LA far quicker. Not only is she needy, she's slow. Chase refers back to Teri Bauer's death as the reason why Kim can't have a relationship with a field agent. Nice. Rub it in for the girl, why not?

Then Kim – who is clearly the focus of the first ten minutes of the episode – walks into Jack's office and drops the bombshell that she's dating Chase. Jack, who is clearly missing his smack, has absolutely nothing to say. You see, that's the trouble with heroin. Emotionally, you don't give a shit about stuff. Clever on the writers' part to work the two things in together. Probably not the happy smiles that Kim was looking for, though.

At 2:11PM, Dr Sunni Macer – the virus expert – phones up and speaks with Michelle. Somehow they've figured out – she actually uses the line "I'll skip the technobabble" – that the virus is being transferred in a crystalline form, like a white powder. Eventually, Michelle figures out that she means a bag of cocaine.

This is where the plot falls apart. CTU presume that the dead guy from the first episode was infected by the same batch that must be somewhere in Los Angeles. Yes, it's true that the dead guy must have been infected by a powder, but who's to say that the stuff they're looking for couldn't be in liquid form, or cake form, or white elephant form, even. If I was a terrorist, that's how I'd trick the goodies. Or maybe it's a double bluff. Who knows?

Secondly, if the baddies already have the virus to infect the dead guy, why do they need Kyle Singer to smuggle a bag of the stuff into LA from Mexico? Hmm.

Kyle, despite being tied up in the writers' muddle, has problems of his own. His friend Tim won't help him out by tagging along when he makes his delivery. And Zach the dealer calls to tell him when to make his delivery. Exciting stuff.

Then we get an ad break.

2:17PM – Kyle and girlfriend Linda leave the pool; spy Gael looks mysterious; President Palmer's involved in a photo shoot with some guy.

Michelle tells Jack that they’ve found an address for Goss the dead guy. As to why this wasn't in the file that Kim gave Chase earlier, I have no idea. Maybe Kim is just rubbish at compiling useful information like that. Maybe Kim's file had stuff like "GOSS' FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR: PINK" in it, and a load of doodles and other dumb shit.

Jack and Chase get their groove on and pack with guns. They're going shooting, and it's not for bunny rabbits. Kim stalls Chase by telling him to be careful whilst making gooey eyes at him. Jack yells at his partner for no apparent reason, other than to create tension between the two because one of them is fucking the other's daughter. Not forgetting, of course, the heroin withdrawal symptoms, which kick in after precisely two hours and nineteen minutes.

At 2:19AM, Jack and Chase magically 'jump' from being deep inside CTU to being outside of CTU, getting into a big Ford 4x4 SUV type thing. No idea how they did it. Maybe someone sliced the tape the wrong way in the editing room.

At the University of Southern California, Dave and Wayne Palmer discuss the virus threat again, mainly for the benefit of the viewer. Wayne shows his analysis skills on the situation: "It's not good". And still, he demands that the president should proceed as planned with the debate.

Senator Keeler arrives. Him and the President talk about golf. No really, and Keeler socks it to Palmer:

DAVE: "I know you have a lot of last-minute cramming to do if you want to survive this debate."

KEELER: "I won't argue with you there, Mr President. Your research staff, compliments of the tax payer, outnumbers mine three to one. I actually have to do some of the shoe leather myself."

DAVE: "Touche".

Meanwhile, Wayne – who is dodgier than Sherry Palmer – has a deal on his mind. It must be bad, because the spooky music is playing over the scene.

2:22PM – Jack tells Chase that he got Kim a job working at his anti-terrorist unit so that he could 'keep an eye on her' and 'make sure she's safe'. Bleh, all most fathers' do is pick their daughters up from their late night babysitting. What a nice guy. Luis Annicon interrupts Jack's rant about how it's his job that has made him such a bad family guy, by phoning up and demanding to know why he can't move Salazar back to solitary confinement. Understandably, Annicon's not happy, so he marches over to Ramon's cell. Ramon proves how evil he is by withstanding a beating from the guards and by promising to murder Annicon's wife and kids. Ramon uses the phrase 'if I am unexpectedly allowed to go free', which obviously means he's expecting to be allowed out of prison. He knows something is going on.

2:30PM – We return from an ad break: Jack and Chase are still driving to Goss' last known address; Kyle Singer is in bed with his girlfriend; Ramon Salazar is stewing in his cell.

Wayne tells Palmer that he has a copy of Senator Keeler's debate 'playbook'. True to form, Palmer won't dare use it. Wayne goes overboard by reminding Dave that he's 'not Sherry'. So obviously he’ll pull it out and go ahead without Dave’s express permission. The question is: will he get caught, and how many people will he have to kill to get it?

2:33PM – Kim and Michelle are in the ladies' loos at CTU. A setting we have not seen since Paula – AKA Darlene from Roseanne – started getting cold feet early last series. And look what happened to her, eh? Hopefully Kim will soon meet a similar fate.

Somehow Tony learns that Hector Salazar is somewhere in Northern Mexico. How he did that, we’re not really told. Cut to:

A scene in Northern Mexico. Hector Salazar is talking to his spy over the phone. Gael, the spy, is watching Kyle Singer over CCTV. Hector overhears his girlfriend Claudia arguing with her father. He steps in to interrupt, tells Claudia 'not to raise your voice to your father ever again', and slaps her hard, as her father looks on. Seems like Hector makes enemies easily, and I'm sure this pair will be looking for an opportunity to screw him over when it'll hurt him most. Still, nice to see that he’s a caring, sharing bio-terrorist who cares about family values.

Back to CTU, and Chloe is telling Tony 'you don't have to yell' because he wants her to be extra on the ball since Jack is refusing to use the useful CTU magical wireless information transmitters on the bust that's about to go down.

Jack and Chase have reached Goss' last known address at 2:38PM. It's a run-down junkie hotel in the bad part of town and it looks like a location out of an 'NYPD Blue' crime scene. Jack and Chase tell the waiting police officer that they don't want any back up, even though 'there's 30 scumbags in there'. What is this? The last polite, clean-mouthed cop in LA? What, is there a swearbox down at the station, or something? Annicon just said 'bastard' ten minutes ago, for fuck's sake. Surely this dirty-looking cop fellow could be allowed to say something a little more extreme?

2:43PM, and Jack and Chase enter the junkie den. Some pristine-looking model injects heroin in between her toes just like people do in real life. Trust me, when junkies get to that stage, they don't look like models. Naturally, Jack and Chase immediately get into a bullets-flyin' fire fight. One of the junkies – coincidentally, Zach, who Kyle Singer was supposed to meet later – escapes and Jack pins him down in a stairwell. In the tradition of so many of last year's episodes, Jack interrogates the guy to gets the information out of him. This time it's better, though, because this year they torture this guy by having Chase stand on the guy's balls. Zach spills everything, telling them that Kyle Singer still has the drugs.

2:46PM, and Kyle Singer's mum is being bothered by her landlord for rent. Kyle dives into his room for his drug money and dashes off to pay the landlord. Cut to CTU and Tony informs everyone to work on finding where Singer is.

2:53PM. Stupidly, Kyle's left his bag open and Linda discovers the drugs. She's about to open it and get infected when Kyle comes back into the room. If only she hadn't waited five minutes during that ad break, eh? She'd be a walkin' casualty. They fight and she walks out. Kyle's mum starts talking to him, and I lose interest in this soap opera and wish Chase and Jack could go back to standing on that guy's balls again.

Palmer greets 'Doctor' Anne at 2:55PM. I have no idea what kind of doctor she is, but she seems to know all about type three viruses when he asks her for advice. ERGO, SHE MUST BE THE MOLE. Nah, maybe not. She'd have killed Palmer ages ago if she was.

2:57PM, and Chase argues with Jack about who gets to do the exciting work. Jack wants Chase to take Zach Parker – the guy whose balls they crushed – back to CTU to do some boring questioning, but Chase wants to stay out and play with Jack and the big boys in finding Kyle Singer and save the day! Jack's having none of it – he uses the same tone of voice he uses with Kim – and sends Chase scurrying back to the office. Chase walks off, grumbling. "Pff. He never lets me have any fun. I'm not a baby any more".

Also, if they've found Kyle Singer's druggie contact, CTU must be close to finding Kyle Singer, right? How long can this be stretched out for?

In the most surprising move of the century, Wayne Palmer has disobeyed his brother's wishes and picked up a copy of Senator Keeler's playbook. "Don't be angry, David", he says. "Jesus Christ, you're like my wife with a beard", replies the president. Happens that the playbook has information about Doctor Anne in it. Dave compromises three series' worth of integrity by having a quick peek at the pages, but they're blatantly not letting us know about it until the next episode.

Cut to: Dave and Wayne staring each other out over a desk; Doctor Anne looking innocent and taking a phone call (which, in the '24' world, means you're up to something dodgy); Kyle Singer looking at the bag of virus-infested coke, trying to work out why he’s being paid $10,000 to shift something that's only worth $500 tops; a computer screen displaying casualty estimates (9% of population, if you're interested).

Then to a shot of Gael, Hector's spy. Darkened room. Loads of monitors. He's been watching Kyle Singer. He flicks the monitors back to images of the inside of CTU and walks out through a door... into CTU.

HOLY FUCKING CHRIST. THIS GUY WORKS AT CTU. HE'S THE MOLE. And we're only two episodes in. This is audacious. The writers have pulled off the cheekiest plot twist I've ever seen. How could anyone have been expecting that? What now? Twenty-two weeks of Gael avoiding capture and becoming the meanest bad guy since Nina Myers? Oh please, and I thought having another mole at CTU would be stupid and a poor repeat of what's gone before. The simple step of revealing him at this early point in the storyline has given '24' the shot in the arse it's needed since the cougar. I am first in the queue to watch next week's show.

Who else is joining me?

Time checks:

Tony states that CTU has five hours to comply with the terrorists' demands.

Chloe tells Chase that it's not likely that they'll find the virus carrier in the next four hours.

Kyle Singer has to drop off the virus-infected bag of cocaine with Zach the dealer at 7:30PM, which is in five episodes' time.

Top quotes:

Dr Sunni Macer: "I'll skip the technobabble…"

Dave Palmer: "I can walk and chew gum at the same time."

Jack Bauer: "Shut up, stupid - you just fired at a federal agent."

Death pool:

Nobody died this week, leaving the death pool at:
David Goss, the dead guy from the first episode
Shaye, Ramon Salazar's lawyer
...as well as Hector's truckload of stiffs, which were too many to count. So they won't count.

Trivia:

Ian Toynton, the episode's director, first cut his teeth directing episodes of 1980s Channel Island cop show 'Bergerac' and writing and directing 1980s car-lot wheeler-dealering Dennis Waterman-vehicle 'Minder'. And he also helmed a few episodes of Fox's under-rated teen school drama-with-a-twist 'Opposite Sex' – the third best TV show of the past few years, after '24' and 'The Tom Green Show'.

Nineteen minutes into the episode, Luis Annicon says the word 'bastard'. Unsurprisingly, this isn't the first time there's been swearing on '24'. Jack's used the big 'b word' himself at least once, has used 'son of a bitch' more times than you can count.

Questions Arising:

Jack, tell us how you really feel about Chase and your daughter? Will this leave the wannabe sidekick sidelined action-wise for the rest of the series in a clever misdirection and turnaround of events?

Gael: how will he screw over CTU next?

02.19 | The following took place between 1:00PM and 2:00PM

Previously on '24'

Someone dumped a body infected with a deadly weaponised virus in the middle of Los Angeles. CTU got a phone call asking for the release of Ramon Salazar, a Mexican criminal with terrorist connections – or the virus is unleashed. His brother, Ramon, is the likely suspect and has a spy watching CTU and the boy, Kyle Singer, who’s been paid to bring the virus into the country. President Palmer has a campaign debate to get through, and Kim Bauer is dating Chase Edmonds, her father's partner. Oh, and Jack is a heroin addict.

Watch Sky One tonight at 9PM if you want to find out what happens next. After all, what else are you paying all that money every month for? Football? The 10th series of 'Friends'? Pfff.

02.14 | Kiefer Sutherland hurt in bar bust-up

Telly tough guy Kiefer Sutherland needed hospital treatment after being punched in the face during a bar brawl. The star of CIA drama series 24 was rushed to hospital in Los Angeles, requiring six stitches to patch up a gash on his cheek. The award-winning actor’s aides said the incident has not disrupted filming of the latest series of 24.

02.13 | Steady start for Sky's man on a mission

It was business as usual for Jack Bauer when he returned for a new series of 24 last night - bad guys pretending to be good guys, America facing a national catastrophe, and only 24 hours to save the world. But one thing was different - for the first time he was on Sky One. The opening episode of the third series of the cult US import was watched by nearly one million viewers. The drama, poached by Sky bosses from BBC2, averaged an audience of 968,000 - 18,000 more than watched the debut of the channel's other high profile US import, Joely Richardson plastic surgery drama, Nip/Tuck.

02.13 | Newspaper Review

Read what the newspaper columnists thought of last night's '24' season three premiere:

The FT - 'This seems increasingly a show for singletons; people who can tape five episodes and watch them back-to-back on a wet Wednesday night'
The Guardian - 'I'm not sure I can really be bothered to devote another 23 hours of my life to finding out'
The Times - '24' remains entertaining nonsense'
The Mirror - 'Pretty tough competition on the one hand, but a sign of Sky's confidence on the other'

02.13 | Sky One promoting '24' at last

Sky One decided to promote their new acquisition by placing six poor sods in anti-contamination suits and making them hand out leaflets on London Bridge. I felt sorry for them - until I realised they'd make a fortune selling their contamination suits on eBay.

02.12 | Episode one, 1PM - 2PM

Production Code: 3AFF01
Written by Joel Surnow and Michael Loceff
Directed by Jon Cassar

Hurrah! The show is back. Except now it's on a different channels. With horrible DOGS and absolutely tonnes of adverts. Fittingly, there was 24 minutes of ads. But enough of that. Let's discuss the important stuff from the first episode.

The '24' logo flashes up. That music and s/fx always sets the pulse racing. We get a view of last season's attack on President Palmer from an angle we didn't see before. It’s a bit like the Zapruder footage of the President Kennedy assassination. Plays out to a heartbeat...

Three years later:

The following takes place between 1:00PM and 2:00PM. Events occur in real time, as they always do.

Shot of moving traffic. Dodgy black transit van, obviously of terrorist origin. Van weaves between other cars, backs into National Heathcare Services facility, Los Angeles. Body is pulled out and bomb is set off. Security guard is woken up.

Cut to a federal holding facility. Jack Bauer enters the series via a stylistically brilliant 'hand scanner' which displays his face on an LCD screen before the camera pulls back and we see him in the flesh. He looks good, wearing a natty suit. His partner, Chase Edmonds, is wearing similar garb. Obviously this is important.

A prisoner in chains appears. Must be a baddie, because he’s played by Joaquim De Almeida - Bucho in Robert Rodriguez's Desperado, and he gets the 'duh duh duh' musical treatment. Plus, we saw him in the trailer months ago.

Chase asks Jack if he's OK; Jack takes this as a chance to unveil some of the plot. However, this isn't what Chase meant.

Joquim is here to give up details of the terrorist cells he dealt with in return for a move to a class two detention centre. Chase suggests the prisoner is allowed to go to Florida as 'it won't make a difference'. AHA, WE HAVE UNCOVERED CHASE AS THE MOLE ALREADY. No, only joking.

Luis Annicon has also been working with Jack and Chase over the last year. He seems a bit of an asshole. You see, Jack worked undercover with Ramon Salazar and ended up putting him in prison. Ramon makes a scary speech, saying that Jack and him are 'connected'. Ramon starts talking about blood, and stabs Shaye, his lawyer, with a pen. Now that’s resourcefulness of a Jack Bauer kind. Maybe they are connected.

1:08PM, and a big red Ford 'Haz Mat Unit' van has arrived at the healthcare facility to examine the dumped body. The body was addressed to Dr Sunny Macer, who presumably turned up in the Ford. And I thought my junk mail was bad. The body is apparently infected with some kind of deadly virus; she goes to call Tony Almeida at CTU.

Tony, who should doing important world-saving work, is 'having a moment' with luvvy-duvvy Michelle until he is interrupted by some techie looking guy dressed in CTU regulation black. Apparently the new guy is called Adam, and he doesn't want someone called Chloe 'touching his data'. He is so gay. Tony calls him crazy, SO OBVIOUSLY ADAM IS THE NEW MOLE AT CTU. No, I'm joking. Though check back in a few episodes, eh?

Tony and Michelle go back to 'sharing moments'. The doctor speaks with Tony and tells him it’s a Cordilla virus. It’s dangerous, it’ll kill lotsa people if it's released and it’ll take 24 hours to solve. You get the picture.

1:12PM, and back to the federal holding facility. Jack, Chase and some extras are looking at CCTV footage of Ramon's little outburst. No idea why. Presumably to hold them up until the rest of the plot catches up. Jack gets the inkling that something important might happen today. Well, hopefully, and as long as it's unrelated to cougars and amnesia, I’m all for it. Jack, however, seems a little off his game.

1:14PM, and President Palmer's limo pulls up outside University of Southern California. Oddly, for a President of the United States, there's about eight people there to welcome him. Big cheers, and helpfully he holds up his buggered hand. One of the crowd is his brother, Wayne – who's taken both Sherrie Palmer and Mike Novick's jobs. He fires people, apparently. He must be evil, AND IS THEREFORE THE NEW MOLE. Forget about that, though, because President Dave has a 'funny turn' and hobbles off to wait for Anne – who we're supposed to presume is his doctor. Anyone with eyes and a brain can work out that there's probably something more there, though.

1:16PM is the time that Jack and Chase leave the holding facility. Jack's got a hunch and wants to go back to CTU to check it out. In the car, Chase bothers Jack with dumb questions before he’s interrupted by Kate Warner! Special guest star alert! And she looks hot, which is good, because it sounds like her and Jack were together, but have split up. Sexy blonde lawyer – with bonus terrorist sister – on the prowl!

1:18PM and on the most dangerous day of the year, Tony and Michelle are more concerned with getting new jobs in Washington. You've have thought that these top class anti-terrorist people would be better at prioritising. Audience yawns, but is woken up by Michelle's lame humour about being a useless cook. Michelle walks over the over side of the office to boss about Kim Bauer. Hopefully, Kim isn't being paid to sit around and be useless. Turns out she's a damp hand at computers, though, and she manages to annoy Adam the gay looking bloke. Two thoughts: who is Kim's new hairdresser? That hipster hair is great. And how come these CTU people just go about writing down access codes and passwords on pieces of paper and reading them out over the phone?

1:21PM sees us going to Las Nieves in Northern Mexico. This appears to be the bad guys' resort where they train horses and speak in subtitles. This Mexican guy is up to something dodgy.

1:23PM, and Kim alienates herself from the potential gay mole, Adam, by fucking about with his 'CTU OS' computer. I have no idea how she did it, chiefly because it's a made up operating system on their machines, but has something to do with 'data forks' and 'opening sockets', or something. Obviously thing have been upgraded from the days when Nina Myers used to send dirty pictures of herself to Jack and Tony by 'sending it to their screen'.

1:25PM - Jack and Chase arrive back at CTU. Jack runs upstairs to introduce us to Chloe O'Brian. It appears Jack, Chase and Chloe belong to one 'half' of CTU, whilst Tony and Adam do something else on the other side of the office. There's office politics involved here, and obviously it affects Jack pretty bad because he gets grouchy. Once he’s alone, it looks like he's about to die. The music goes mental, like some fan remix of Radiohead or something.

1:27PM. Kim going delving around some back room – probably where her mother died, but she's obviously to thick to realise that. The music goes spooky because someone’s approaching her from behind. It's Chase, WHO MUST BE THE NEW MOLE AT CTU. Actually, it's worse than that – he appears to be Kim's boyfriend. Woo, no wonder Jack is pissed off with him.

Doctor Macer videoconferences with Jack, Tony and Michelle. The virus will kill a million people within a week of release. Jack, who doesn't look at his best, panics like he did in the first episode last season and looks down at Kim, obviously thinking about getting her out of harm’s way. Macer says "We don't know who has it, there's no way to plan where they plan to release it; we don't even know what form its in". So why presume it'll be in Los Angeles, then? Why not New York or London? If I was Tony and Jack, I'd widen my search at this point.

Cut to a kid with a dodgy looking bag of drugs. I'd say the virus is in that, somewhere. It's 1:30PM when Kyle Singer is interrupted by his mother. He's got plans to go destroy Los Angeles, apparently.

President Palmer is running through a debate practice at 1:31PM. Brother Wayne thinks Palmer is too truthful. Well, duh. Dave's doctor arrives, and she's clearly more than a doctor. She's such a fusspot she's more like Dave's mother. In fact, the examination of the President's wrist - along with Kate Warner's guest appearance - is the only real 'pay-off' we get from last season. Thanks for wrapping that one up nicely, then. Meanwhile, Wayne breaks the plot to the president, just in case the viewers hadn't heard it the first time.

1:33PM, and Jack's even more pissed out than he was six minutes ago. Apparently Chloe 'can't read minds' and goes off on one about relationships. She's a weird one. Chase is even odder – he pulls up Jack about his erratic behaviour, yet he's content to see Chloe all dressed up in some waistcoat and high trousers. Jack wants her replaced, so OBVIOUSLY SHE IS THE NEW CTU MOLE. Jack and Chase have a lover's tiff. Chase tells Jack he is 'on edge'.

It's 1:38PM, CTU has been handling a major 'protocol' event for less than half an hour and Kim wants to know if Chase talked to Jack about them seeing each other. She doesn't improve. CTU has received some mad voice recording giving them instructions to release Ramon Salazar or the terrorists will release the virus. Time to break out the voice recognition software and hear who that really is. The dead body from the beginning of the show is identified as David Goss, a drug dealer. Jack and Chase go looking for information on Hector Salazar, Ramon’s brother. Apparently he’s an incredible horse trainer.

Hector Salazar, who right at this moment, is showing his girlfriend Claudia the fabulous sights around his ranch. Like the huge piles of dead and decomposing bodies. Hell, Hector's even got her daddy working as the gravedigger. Hector is clearly Evil With A Capital E And A Small 'vil'. Unlike his brother Ramon, who is definitely capital madness all the way through.

Back at the holding facility, Annicon tries to get Ramon to tell him why the lawyer got killed. Unfortunately, Ramon is too Evil to be that stupid. He obviously knows that his brother has something planned.

Claudia and Hector have a lover's tiff over Hector’s 'illegal activities'. She's annoyed with him, though isn’t scared enough to not walk away. Hector has other things on his mind, and phones his spy, Gael. Gael is watching Kyle, the kid with the virus, over a CCTV system. Kyle's in trouble because his sensible friend – who looks like a cross between Fred Savage and Screech from Saved By The Bell – won't accompany him to the drop off point. Kyle, apparently, is 'about to get evicted' from his 'crappy apartment'. Of course, this is LA, where every crappy apartment comes with an outdoor swimming pool. Pshaw. He should try living in a crappy Mexican ranch where they have to bury dead bodies in the back garden.

1:48PM. President Palmer is in a conference room at the University. Now he knows they're dealing with terrorists who want the release of Ramon Salazar, he decides to chat with his nurse. Wayne disagrees. There’s conflict between him and his brother. When I say 'chat', I mean 'snog'. It's pretty ugh. President Palmer almost gets the quote of the episode with his "It's going to be one of those days" line. How apt. As long as it's more like the first day than the second day...

Jack throws a strop at his PC at 1:52PM. Chase sits down for a chat. We're supposed to think he'll talk about Kim, but instead he goes into Jack's past with the Salazars. He tells him to get his head straight. Jack hits a remote control which tints his office windows dark, and I think we're supposed to think Jack’s going to have a little cry about Teri, or Kate, or something. Until he tries shooting up with a syringe full of heroin, that is. It'd be quite a shocker if you weren't already expecting it thanks to stupid trailers and people posting shit in internet forums and EMAILING YOU ABOUT it because you run a '24' website. Mehh, whatever. Anyway, it is pretty shocking and affecting moment, though. Even if you knew what was coming. We even got to see Kiefer's cool new tattoo.

Cut to: Kiefer expertly preparing to shoot up; Ramon Salazar languishing in his prison cell; Wayne Palmer on a mobile phone call; Kyle Singer's mates dicking about in the pool whilst he looks on, moodily.

Jack presses the syringe to his arm. Phone rings. It's Kim, wanting to come up to his offce. "Not right now, sweetheart. I'm in the middle of something", replies Jack. Actually, this is the best line of the show. Any line that can make Kim seem dumb and heroin seem dumber is well worthy.

Jack squirts out the syringe, rips off his tourniquet and throws the whole lot across the room. Episode ends...

Time checks:

Jack and Chase do the drive between the federal holding facility and the CTU office in nine minutes.

Doctor Macer tells us that the virus becomes contagious after fourteen hours. It kills within 24 hours, obviously.

Death pool:

David Goss, the drug dealer whose body was dumped outside the National Heathcare Services centre. And that's it, unless you count the bodies that Hector and Claudia's father dumped at the Las Nieves ranch. Frankly, they fell so fast I couldn’t count them. So I won't. The death count stands at one body, and one body only.

Other Stuff:

Memory Bank's 'Horse Drawn' is played out during the first scene in Kyle's bedroom. The incredibly cool Colder has their song 'One Night In Tokyo' over the top of the scene at the pool between Kyle and his mate Tim.

Things to think about:

Curiously few references to the time and how long things will take in the dialogue. Have the writers left out the clues they used to do, this time around? Or are they just being easy on themselves for later?

If you were a high tech terrorist, would you really leave your plans up to a dumb surfer dude to carry the virus into America?

Is Jack really a junkie, or is he infected with something? Will Jack last for the next 24 hours?

02.12 | Events occur in real time

The following took place three years ago…

'Retired' CTU agent Jack Bauer was recalled by Democratic President Palmer to stop a plot to detonate a nuclear device in the city of Los Angeles. Bauer successfully (natch) stopped the bomb from going off and averted World War III, but nobody thought to check out the crowds as Palmer gave his victory speech. Having shaken hands with a suspicious looking dark-haired lady, Palmer collapsed, clutching his hand – he’d been poisoned via toxins absorbed during a handshake...

Season two left a whole load of unanswered questions. Just who were those bad guys? Who is 'Max', and why does he live on a boat? What's the connection to the President? And to Jack Bauer? How long will they lock up the President's ex-wife Sherrie for her involvement in the plot to get him out of office? Will CTU agents Tony and Michelle get to go out on that date they'd promised each other? What about captured-but-still-spooky terrorist Marie Warner? And will her sister Kate get it together with Jack? Why on earth did the BBC let go of the rights to show this (literally) award-winning series?

And how on earth does Jack Bauer get addicted to heroin, like that trailer told us?

Find out after tonight's Sky One premiere (9PM - 10:15PM) by visiting 24weblog.com. I really can't be bothered to wait to watch this on terrestrial. If it ever gets there, that is.

02.12 | '24' goes interactive on Sky

Sky has announced plans to make interactive features available to viewers watching the third season of 24 via their digital satellite TV service.

The third season of the show begins airing on Sky One on February 12 at 9PM. At that time, digital satellite viewers will be able to press red and access "exclusive highlights, character profiles, research files and an essential episode guide," along with clips from previous episodes to catch up on vital storyline points.

02.11 | President Palmer in Splinter Cell Pandora Tomorrow

Ubisoft has gone to Hollywood to find talent for their upcoming stealth action game Splinter Cell Pandora Tomorrow. Joining Michael Ironside; who played Sam Fisher in the first installment, will be Dennis Haysbert as Irving Lambert, Fisher's supervisor and colleague.

02.06 | Sky ruins the real time aspect of '24'

The season 3 premiere was shown commercial free in the States, with the episode lasting around 51 minutes. Since the *average* amount of ads Sky can show in an hour is 9 minutes, they could have shown it with ad breaks (assuming that the episode actually covers 1pm-2pm rather than 1pm-1.51pm) and still stuck with the clock on the show.