Oh my God, '24' is just like manna from heaven right now. Jack Bauer is the Lord, and we are those who praise him with our watching. The light shining down upon us is of a '24' wallpaper, and the theme tune plays whenever we log on.
Want to know something? It gets better every week. I have my secret personal sweepstake on when Nina and Jack are going to have a little 'liason' - you know it'll happen. He's tough and she's dirty and desperate. Hell, I think Jack's desperate too if his wife has been dead for a year and a half. Nina'll encharm him like a snake.
Whereas Bob and Reza are so blatantly involved with the bad guys that it's unreal. How many dirty, knowing looks does Tony need to see from them? I've got the theory that Marie must be 'bad' as well, seeing as she's too stupid to be anything but a baddie. Leaving little miss Kate as the only 'goodie' from that side of the story, and more fool her for not realising it. Man, she's going to kick herself when she realises. Stop defending your daddy - he's got a beard, and is thus evil.
Nice to see that all these well-paid government agents let their offspring slum it around Los Angeles working crappy jobs. Mason's estranged surf-dude son works in a burger van, in an oh-so-nice touch that weirdly reminded me of Vinnie in Home and Away a few years back. And remember that Jack was happy to let Kim look after a whole family of, to be quite fair, freaks - and for what must have been minimum wage, too. No wonder she keeps stealing cars.
Tony is bringing Bob Warner, Reza and a whole entourage of stupid happy baddies into the bombed-out CTU building for questioning. The same CTU building that seems to have remarkably little damage for somewhere that got blew up. The pillar that had the weight to crush the life out of Paula, the girl out of Roseanne, obviously wasn't holding anything important up.
One thing that this season has got right is the cliff hangers. Last year, they were kinda obvious, and hence, a bit weak. Jack shooting Nina whilst making her a bullet-proof jacket, for example, was all too easy to guess beforehand. But I had no idea that the policeman would find a body in the boot of the car. It was all seeming that Miguel would try to speed off and outrun the cop car, then it seemed like they'd got away with it, but then - blam! They're cornered by a drip of blood. I like that type of cliff hanger.
Right about now it would be easier for me to write about all the thoughts in my head that aren't to do with '24'. I could do '24weblog.com' and 'not24weblog.com', and the former would get updated twice as often. There's so much more to think about. I care more about how they're ever going to find out what's up with Reza than I do about where my next paycheque is coming from.
Popjustice.com has more on Innis Casey, otherwise known as the actor who plays Miguel, and his past as a latin pop star.
You have to hand it to him - Otis Deley managed to pull a half-decent appearance on 'Pure 24' last night. It's nice to know that he's only an idiot when he's on kids' TV. And, let's face it, who wouldn't be? Otis, I apologise for slurring your character.
I liked that Charlie Porter guy, too. He was going for the 'Jarvis Cocker in pyjamas' look, which would be really bad, unless you remember that no-one watches BBC3, and it's only geeky fan-boys like me who tape the show to watch it over breakfast before going to work.
Yes, so whilst the other 3,000 (or thereabouts, probably) people who watch the show stay up late to watch it, I actually get up early to see this trash. It beats Sara Cox, at least.
The part that grabbed my attention (and made my cereal go soggy) was the guided tour around the CTU set given by Jon Cassar, the show's executive producer. There were even some interesting technical reasons given about why certain parts of the set had to be blown up. And, no, I'm not going to recount them here, because it's far too early in the morning, and why don't you try fiddling bleary-eyed with VCR buttons whilst trying to button a shirt and polish your shoes? I did it for my personal enjoyment, not yours.
There was something else 'new-ish' about 'Pure 24' that I enjoyed, but I can't quite remember what now. I'll probably think about it and update this when my brain starts working proper.
I have to go shave now before I go to work. I'll catch up later.
For anyone searching, there's a whole bunch of Kiefer Sutherland and '24' stuff at this Kiefer Sutherland links page. There's a photo of him in a funky hockey outfit, too.
At this stage, if I had to nominate a head honcho baddie, it would be Marie. She's got Reza and Bob wrapped around her little finger, and she's got the know-all to argue with super-sleuth Kate to get her off her back.
Thing is, who would she be working for? Reza? Her dad? This 'Faheen' chap? Mrs Palmer? Roger Stanton? My guess is that Eric Rayburn is still around somewhere. He's too good a character just to be thrown away like they did. He'll pop up again.
Kiefer Sutherland says that there's no way he can continue making movies alongside filming '24' - and he plans to appear in '24' for as long as the ratings will allow.
Season two of '24' will be released on DVD in the states on 2nd September, according to thedigitalbits.com. Remembering that the UK got the DVD before America last time around, expect the region two version to be available sooner...
Reza Naiyeer, lesser known as actor Phillip Rhys, is appearing on BBC Radio London's Lisa I'Anson radio show tomorrow afternoon. The show starts at 4PM. Phillip is also doing a live video web chat beforehand at around 3:35PM. You can see that here. And look! Coming soon! Gloria Gaynor! All the stars are coming out for the live video web chats, see.
Also: Ortis Deley of Saturday morning kids show 'Live And Kicking' appears on 'Pure 24' this week. Clearly, the show's producers aren't reading this website.
The latest issue of Jack magazine features an interview with Kiefer Sutherland in which he talks about '24' at length (as opposed to the interview in this month's Esquire, which consists of a couple of wanky photos and two paragraphs on '24'). Jack has also got a pretty mammouth feature on the series. No hardcore spoilers about season two, but there is a character guide to the first series, and some some the most amusing 'best bits' from the first day.
There's also a complete breakdown of the last episode of the last series (ie 11PM - 12AM), where every last little detail is described in full. It'd completely ruin the whole show for you if you hadn't seen it, but, then, if you haven't watched it by now, you deserve your entire life to be spoiled, and not just one hour...
03.28 | Wars should end like miniseries: quick, tidy
Some of those TV guys were misled by their own coverage when at the start of the ground campaign TV showed reporters with tank convoys said to be "dashing" or "racing" toward Baghdad as if on Rollerblades. Yeah, yeah, they're near the city now, but it's taken more than a week, bummer, compared with Jack Bauer saving us from nuclear holocaust in less than a day on Fox's '24'. And next, troops will have to fight their way in.
The LA Times compares Gulf War II to '24'.
'Pure 24' was pretty decent this week. For once.
Paul Tonkinson the comedian was on, and - unlike that ditzy bird from 'Two Pints And A Packet Of Wank' - didn't spoil the discussion by cracking naff jokes about Jack Bauer. He actually talked about some good theories and themes that run throughout the series - which is surely the whole point of 'Pure 24'? More of this from future guests, please.
It must be time to have Charlie Brooker back on the show. If anyone from the production crew is reading, give him a call and invite him back. He's funny as fuck.
I would have pointed this out last week, but I couldn't be bothered then. The people who put the audience together must have been reading this site, but those two girls I kept noticing haven't been on the show for the last fortnight. Have they been 'disappeared', revisionist history style?
PS: - If anyone from the BBC is reading, how about a link from the offical '24' site's links page, please? 24weblog.com needs the hits. No, really - it does. Cheers.
Can anyone translate these two comments from the original Dutch, please? I'm dying to know what 'Nina van 24 is echt wel sex!' means. I could take a pretty good guess, though.
03.24 | Discussion, debate, coming over all geeky fan-boy
"We are not living in the world of '24' or a James Bond movie. There is never going to be a situation in which the noble CIA agent knows that the red digits on the timer of the nuclear bomb are counting backwards and he has 90 minutes to determine the location and disarm the thing before Los Angeles blows up. However, if there is such a situation no law enforcement agency or court in the country will prosecute Kiefer Sutherland for saving us all by whatever means necessary, and he would have my full blessing to pull out the thumb screws and go to work."
Weblogger Eschaton gets all political on our TV-watching arses...
Like anyone would think Jack Bauer would EVER shoot Nina Myers. He needs her to find the bomb, for fuck's sake. The writers are seriously messing up some shit if they're trying to convince us that there's any way in here that this is going to be in any way more than a ruck and a little friction.
Nina would so get it. She's a dirty little minx of a double agent. Sorry - the geeky fan-boy in me is coming out to play.
Yeah, '24' is back to doing those lovely little touches which made the first series so brilliant. The part where Jack told Mason to turn the heat up on Nina by ten degrees was on a par with the 'I can rip out a man's stomach lining with a towel and it'll take him a week to die' speech Jack made to dodgy Serb banker Ted Cofell.
I like the way how the directors are getting us to hate the wife beater Gary Matheson by having him shout and stomp at the poor black nurse in the hospital. Miguel showed some ingenuity - remarkable for one of Kim's friends, I know - by getting Gary away from Megan by phoning the main desk.
If I were Kim and Miguel, I would have left the stupid little girl in the hospital. She's only going to cry and moan, generally prove annoying, get lost, have to be found again, be kidnapped and whine about her mother. But enough about Kim... Still, Megan hasn't done anything to make me want her to stay in the plot. She's about as endearing as middle eastern despot.
And speaking of middle eastern despots, Reza seems to have set up Bob Warner rather well, hasn't he? "Oh, it wasn't me, it was that other dude" - that's all it takes for Tony Almeida to stop his interogation. Nice work, that agent. I can why he's still not in charge of CTU.
You can listen to the '24' parody as mentioned below by visiting the BBC Radio One Mark 'n' Lard audio page. Shamefully, it's in Realaudio. And it's not funny at all.
03.19 | Tony Blair, aka Jack Bauer
"Right now, a Middle Eastern dictator is hoarding weapons of mass destruction, the UN is refusing to back military intervention, and the people I work with may be about to resign. I'm Prime Minister Tony Blair, and today is the longest day of my life."
There's a good piece at (surprise, surprise) The Guardian about why Britain's Prime Minister should model himself on President Palmer, but tries to be 'reckless' Jack Bauer instead. You'll find the relevant info about halfway down the page, underneath the dull stuff about poker and cannabis (no, really).
Thanks to Dan Hom for pointing out the link.
I feel that this information could prove to be a spoiler for a future episode. Lions are involved, eh? I guess that Kim and Miguel run away to become circus freaks, then.
I like this part on the BBC's 'Episode Update' of last night's show: 12:44 PM - Jack follows Mason to the men's room.
Can I do the 'Ooh-err, missus' joke now, please?
One thing I'd like to know: will Jack or Kim ever actually get to the almost-mythical "Aunt Carole's"? What would happen if they do? Will she have a secret fall-out shelter, or what?
Wickedintellect.net calls Jack Bauer 'the ballsiest bastard on tv' at the moment. I'd say that honour should go to whoever comissioned Kim Bauer's wardrobe, but anyway...
First things first, I don't trust the old Granddad bloke. Roger, Palmer's new right-hand evil baddie. But he's called Roger, which leaves plenty out of room for comedy 'Roger, over and out' walkie-talkie jokes later in the series.
George and Jack argue a plenty, which is great when you know that they're both going to be working together like best buddies for the rest of the series.
Daddy Bob Warner continues his descent into baddieness by admitting that he knew Reza was only going to show Kate to the new house, and that he also knew Reza wasn't going to murder her and bury her body in the basement. What an ass. There's too many blondes in this show, and one of them needs to go soon. I vote Kate off, Weakest Link style, to be the first to go. She's rubbed too many people up the wrong way already.
Dumb moment of the show? Trained covert operative Jack Bauer telling his blabber mouth daughter THAT THERE’S A NUCLEAR BOMB! ABOUT TO GO OFF! IN LOS ANGELES! Over the entirely insecure mobile phone network, too. In front of his work colleagues, as well.
So what does Kim do? Kim introduces her 'friend' Miguel, and promptly tells him THAT THERE'S A NUCLEAR BOMB! ABOUT TO GO OFF! IN LOS ANGELES! A pity that he's also too thick to take all this information in, though. Miguel would be a prime suspect for being linked to the terrorist group, if only he wasn't already a prime suspect for 'Idiot of the series', by sole virtue of being Kim's 'friend'. It's like this – if you look like trouble (ie Miguel or Reza) and you're shacked up with a dumb blonde (ie Kim or Marie) who hasn't realised that you could be dodgy, then you're probably not.
What does this tell us about real life? Dumb blondes are always right, and they always date arseholes who aren't as much trouble as they seem. OK, like, whatever.
Shock of the week for me must have been the Ambassador's helicopter crash at the end. I never would have guessed that he'd never get back to Iraq the 'middle eastern country'. Maybe this'll have greater implications for the President, like someone aiming nuclear missiles at LA as well...
As for Jack and Nina, think of it like a Chachie and Joanie for the 21st century. I'm just waiting for the rule-breaking former agent and the other disgraced former agent to get down and dirty, and start their little love affair all over again. A struggle of love and hate, of biblical proportions, but on American telly.
It's a comedy goldmine out there, I swear.
The Observer newspaper's comment page today tells us how the President of the United States played by Martin Sheen in The West Wing would support a war on Iraq. America's other fictional president, David Palmer, also gets a look in.
Both shows offer a parallel political world where anything is possible. Indeed in 24 a liberal, black Democrat can divorce his wife at the height of the Presidential campaign and still stroll to victory. In the West Wing, a Harvard professorial know it all can lie to the American people about having MS and still rout his opponent - some right-wing Texan know-nothing in a cowboy hat, as it happens.
In fact, for an article about Martin Sheen and The West Wing,
it seems to spend a lot of time discussing '24' - a good move, if you ask me. I think they end up deciding that Palmer wouldn't support a war in another country, especially since he has a nuke in his own back yard. Obvious, really.
Chris of lemonfridge.com has designed and uploaded some '24' desktop wallpapers. I think that they're dead stylish, and far better than those lame screengrabs-with-huge-advertising-urls ones that the BBC have on their site.
Leslie Hope, who played Teri Bauer in '24' last year, is now starring in a staight-to-TV movie about a lesbian mother. It's her follow-up to a role in the latest series of Robocop straight-to-TV 'kids' movies.
Oh dear. For her career's sake, I sincerely hope that the writers of '24' figure out a way to bring Hope's character back. A flashback whilst Jack is unconscious, perhaps. Or maybe Kim could be the one to be unconscious, and maybe she could stay that way for the rest of the series. Perhaps. Yes. Hopefully, anyway.
Over in the states, '24' was Fox's highest rated drama last week. The 15th episode of season two was also the 18th most viewed show on all networks during the last seven days.
Couldn't give a monkeys, frankly, as long as BBC2 keep showing it, without interupting the series for Wimbledon.
For anyone watching the latest episodes of '24' on BBC3, you might have noticed A FUCKING LOUD VOICEOVER being played IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF last Sunday night's '12PM - 1PM' episode.
'24' fan Carl Ellis was so annoyed he wrote to Stuart Murphy, the controller of BBC3. Carl has been kind enough to me reproduce the gist of it all on the website. Here's some of what Carl wrote:
As a series that demands viewers pay attention, it's bad enough that we must put up with the BBC3 DOG and pointless on-screen next graphics, but how can we follow the plot when lines of dialogue are obscured by an overexcited Mockney muppet promoting the largely pointless 'Pure 24'?
Carl got what was, quite frankly, a very shit reply:
Thanks for your very passionate note.
I'm really sorry about the interruption in the show: it was a technical error in the TX suite and I was just as unhappy about it, I can assure you.
I hope you continue to enjoy the BBC's output, and thanks for letting us know.
This Stuart Murphy bloke sounds like a master... a master of SHIT EXCUSES.
This was a deliberate 'mistake'. The voice-over started as soon as the President Palmer stopped talking and provided a break in the dialogue. The BBC3 voice-over was obviously meant to be crammed in before someone started talking again, but the timing was out.
Whatever next, eh? Ten episodes of Eastenders a week? Or what, eh?
The '24' UK newsgroup has uncovered news that BBC Radio One's Mark and Lard will be doing 24 episodes of a '24' 'spoof', starting on next Tuesday's show.
Thanks to somebody posting on the forum, I now know that Kiefer Sutherland will be interviewed on the David Letterman show. The appearance will be shown on ITV2 on 19th March at 12:45AM.
03.12 | Some people have too much time on their hands - myself included, natch
"I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town."
realultimatepower.net is a comedic geeky fan-boy parody page that's all about deadly ninjas.
"I heard that Jack Bauer was eating at a diner in Bosnia. And when some dude dropped a spoon Jack killed the whole town"
realultimatebauer.net is a comedic geeky fan-boy parody page that's all about a deadly CTU agent.
Hoorah! The whole office building blew up without any major characters being killed. Only a few polystyrene pillars got knocked over - one squished Paula the techie to bits. Poor old Darlene - I'm hoping that Al Bundy out of 'Married With Children' will turn up as the guy who detonates the nuke.
Mason clearly doesn't know whether he's coming or going. Sadly, it looks like he's going for good, but not before coming back for a bit. Or something.
Jack finally gets into a Ford, and only three hours and fifteen minutes into the series. I hope that they didn't pay much for their sponsorship.
Palmer, Lynne and Raeburn blah blah casualties blah blah estimated blah percentages blah evacuation. I don't see the point in them discussing this, since it's blatantly not going to happen. Who'd be left for Jack to save? Can't see him hanging around the empty streets of LA waiting with turncoat Nina for the bomb to go off.
And there's more 'blah' over at the wedding. Reza shows that he's not in any way a terrorist by making out that he's going to do something nasty to Kate. And then promptly not doing so. Back in the last series, someone like Gaines would have shot her five minutes after he met her. Like I keep saying, the sooner this bomb goes off and turns Kate and her sister to two piles of radioactive blonde dust, the better...
The best part was the 'Panic Room' sequence. Plenty of dramatic tension - a last chance for Jack to sit down and catch his breathe, yet still allowing him to shout out threats like a double hard bastard. It was like some old black and white film, but I'm not quite sure what the name of it was. Still, eh?
Shame that the script writers feel that the audience needs reminding that THERE'S A NUCLEAR BOMB! ABOUT TO GO OFF! IN LOS ANGELES! Yes, I can remember - I'm not a goldfish. When they finally find out, I'm sure Kate and Marie will need it all spelt out for them, though.
PS: - I'm so ahead of the game that I knew that the informant was Nina Myers the second that Joe Wald mentioned that he met with a woman. So when did you lot guess? I bet you had to see the photos.
'Six Feet Under' beat '24' to the Best Dramatic Emsemble gong at the Screen Actors Guild last night. However, we do still have another 20 hours of top class telly to sit through over the next six months. It's not too bad - onwards and upwards...
Why does the site always end up with a shit load of hits from perves searching for 'Tamzin Sylvester' in the hours after 'Pure 24' being broadcast? I read on her profile on the BBC website that she likes 'Sex In The City'. Thus, she has lost all credibility.
'24' has Tony and George out fighting terrorism.
The real world (not the MTV series, sorry) has Tony and George out fighting terrorism.
Spooky, huh? Does this mean that Kiefer Sutherland is a government crony, a henchmen out to disseminate pro-Government propaganda amongst the TV-suckling masses?
No, thought not.
Some quick points about 'Pure 24':
Lennie James was great - more of him, please
Tamzin Sylvester looks lovely with her hair up or down
Charlie Brooker should be due for another appearance - please
There are definitely the same two (or more?) people in the audience each week
The interviews with the actors are far too short
It's too slow paced to be associated with '24' - speed it up with a ticker of 'txt msgs' along the bottom of the screen if you have to
Most of the callers are really shit - they've probably pissed
Actually, if you have been in the audience, get in touch
If you're quick, you can read Jim Shelley's review of '11AM - 12PM' in The Mirror. Be warned that The Mirror doesn't archive its online pages, and so that page will disappear in about twelve hours from now. C'mon now, it's hardly a dangerous, time sensitive mission.
Thought you sometimes blurred the vision between fantasy and reality? Well, today's edition of The Times has a feature on the war on terror and the arrest of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in Pakistan, which spends most of the the article's length discussing Jack Bauer's exploits on '24'. Someone should tell them that Jack isn't a real person.
And it's yet another link into Rupert Murdoch's self promotion of a Rupert Murdoch TV show in a Rupert Murdoch newspaper.
Well, it had to be more exciting than last week's episode. 9AM – 10AM was a waste of an hour, but this week's proved to be the best season two show yet.
Starting off with President Palmer having the casualty figures reiterated to him yet again, we also have Kim’s stupidity pointed out again by having her phone her Dad’s office again and asking them what to do. Considering that she has no clue about the nuclear bomb and she's got a wife beater on her back, she's sticking her neck out for trouble. If you want to stay out of harm's way, don't go hanging around at a counter terrorist agency. It's that simple.
I almost missed the whole bit with Mason getting infected with deadly green gas, because I was concentrating on the dead body lying just to the back of the green gas box. So how did that guy die, eh? Unless it was a member of the crew who got into the shot by mistake, but that would just be silly and obvious, yes? And Mason entered the building with five cops, and not one of them saw the guy with the machine gun sneaking up from behind on the 'danger danger! high radiation' zone. Tch, eh? You just can’t get the staff.
Eric Rayburn used his evil eyes and 'softly, softly' voice to pacify both Palmer and his aide, Lynn, about three times during the hour. The best use was the 'heavy stare across the room' as Lynn hung up on a phone call with Jack.
And Jack, you'll be pleased to know, has finally got his phone dialling fingers back. It's just not '24' unless at least two major characters are at risk of head cancer through cell phone abuse. Although, I am worried that Jack's not as on the ball as he used to be. Having just watched Eddie Grant's gang somehow put interference onto CTU's phone lines by fiddling with a box, Jack then tries to warn his fellow agents by phoning them up. I mean, was he not paying attention? They've just cut the phones at CTU, so what does Jack do? He phones them up to warn them. Maybe he was relying on Tony's 'wireless protocol', whatever that means.
The gang make Jack let slip that they're blowing up CTU because they're 'patriots'. Maybe it's just me, but they've probably got connections to Kate Warner – probably attend the same Klan meetings, or something.
More boring girly stuff involving dodgy Reza, wimpy Marie, KKK Kate and Reza's dodgy cousin. Actually, I suspect the cousin – anyone standing around aimlessly in a kitchen listening to an argument in an adjoining room must be suspect.
And as for cutting yourself in the head, Jack – I don't know what you're thinking. It'll go gangrenous by midnight, I'm sure. He's obviously expecting this whole nuclear plot to be wound up in a couple of hours so he can get his head sorted out down at the ER. So Jack's a bit off at the moment. He probably just needs a coffee down him – it is only 11AM, after all. Maybe the terrorists can stop for elevenses, and Bauer can get his head together.
With some stitches, or something.
The ever lovely Tamzin Sylvester (who, frankly, should get a cameo in the main series as Jack's squeeze) is getting to grips with the horror that must be presenting a live TV show.
Dennis Haysbert (who plays President Palmer) obviously has a very tight schedule - probably because he's promoting his new film - and could only spare a minute for an interview. A shame, because the stars of the show are more interesting than the lame 'personalities' who are on 'purely' (do you see what I did there?) to promote the rest of the BBC3 line-up.
Other guests included some bird off some shit BBC3 sitcom that no one watches, some Radio One presenter that no one listens to, and the bloke off Newsround who no one cares about now he's traded off to 'be' the dull fill-in presenter on Channel 4 News. Frankly, if the production staff can't be bothered to get any decent guests to appear on the show, then I can't be bothered to write about it.
Thanks, you've made my job a whole lot easier. And next week I'll take an extra half an hour in bed, unless you can get tastier 'stars' on. I mean, you're going to have problems getting 48 real celebrity '24' fans to appear over the next six months, so why not get someone interesting, like a real life counter terrorism expert who can tell us how true to life the show is? Or a real life presidential aide, or a real life dumb blonde teenage au pair? Otherwise you'll end up with 'celebs' like John Ritter or Matthew Kelly on the couch.
John Ritter? Who? Exactly.
PS: - Can anyone confirm that I wasn't just dreaming things last and that it was mostly the same studio audience as last week's? I recognised two of the women straight off in the first shot, and then my paranoid state was heightened by the fact that they were both asked to speak later in the show. Could I be deeply sad enough to identify two girls off the telly from only a five second shot? Or are they really just actors employed because the BBC can't let the real fans talk on telly because, like me, they're all geeky fan-boys?
In a tribute to the soon-to-be-late George Mason, here's a piece on the actor playing him: Hey, it's that guy: Xander Berkeley. It's worth browsing around the rest of that site, too - fametracker.com is excellent, if you like reading articles on bit part actors, lists like the 'ten least essential spring films', and so on.
Rupert Murdoch's Sky News reports on a report in Rupert Murdoch's The Sun about Rupert Murdoch's Fox network giving Kiefer Sutherland £10 million to star in another six seasons of Rupert Murdoch's '24'.
BBC2 repeats episodes one to three on next Saturday, 8th March.
